The willingness to forgive is a spiritual leap of faith. When I feel offended and/or have been abused, wronged, misunderstood, labeled, judged, falsely accused, gossiped about—by myself or another—it takes a strong and willing heart to forgive.
Although forgiveness appears to be a gift to the person I am forgiving, it is primarily a gift I choose for myself. The purpose of forgiveness is to get the toxins and hatred out of my Soul so I can be free of the distortions, anger and resentments I feel so entitled to indulge. It is erroneous to believe that if I stay angry and resentful, I will protect myself from ever having “them” hurt me again. That is a lie. The Truth is, by fostering distorted thoughts, false beliefs, anger and resentment within me, I facilitate additional distortion / lies (optional pain) entering into my system! I need to let go of the illusion that “they” have hurt me. Remember: others have no capacity to access me (the Soul); they only have power and influence to affect my body, my environment, and my circumstances. I must learn to let go and surrender the emotional reaction I have to the illusion of what someone has done to me. That is what true and complete forgiveness is about. Forgiveness is moving from distorted thoughts (irresponsibility) to Truth (responsibility).
Humility is an acknowledgement that there is something (Truth / God) greater than me, and a willingness to align my beliefs and my behavior to that Reality. Humility is a choice to acknowledge mine and others’ vulnerabilities, weaknesses, trespasses and offenses—it is a recognition that “I’m the same as you.” A humble person examines behavior (of self and others), desiring to understand and empathize with the being. When I am humble, I am willing to give and receive feedback and change my beliefs & behavior to match the Truth / Reality. I am honest about my emotions—I do not hide them or “stuff” them. I am clear and direct and bold with myself and others about how I feel and how I perceive and think—taking complete and full responsibility for all of my emotions, perceptions, thoughts, reactions, choices and outcomes.
In addition, humility is surrendered, meaning there is no desire to control or force anyone or anything. Humility acknowledges and respects the power of choice within oneself and others, and desires to teach self and others to make wise, empowering choices. A humble person does not “need” to “fix” or control others’ problems, or “take over” when someone makes a choice they disagree with. The development of the person’s agency, along with the desire to choose Truth, are the primary aims of humility.
Humility includes an openness and willingness to ask for help when I need it. In other words, it means acknowledging and fostering my ability to be emotionally vulnerable and open with other people. Humility is a prerequisite to emotional honesty and personal responsibility.